I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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