mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize