And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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