Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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