Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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