You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
