if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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