Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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