so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dicks are not precious.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
