I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
