try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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