I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
