Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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