high people should be assigned attendants
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
