i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
