i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
