using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
