4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
