Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
