38 yer olds are good kisserssss
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
