after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
