i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
