There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
