I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
