i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the day after is always just damage control
only you would photoshop your dick
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
