Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
