I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
