apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
