redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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