you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
