Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
