She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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