You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
