Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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