Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
