yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
