Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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