I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize