matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize