I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
