wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
