I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
