Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
