I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
