You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You pole danced in your parka.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
