nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my shit smells like andre
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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