my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
