I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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