I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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