so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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