I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
