she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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