She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
