Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
