At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
