Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
