true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
