I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
