Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This house was built for laser tag.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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