Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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