I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
