Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
