I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize