why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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