I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
