So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
