I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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