Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
