Don't make out with my wife yet
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
