I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
