I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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