Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
